There are lucky people in the world. The act of conceiving them came at the right place, at the right time, and with the right combination of genetics. These people are the natural-born physically attractive ones – the beautiful ones.
For the rest of us, we just have to live with the genetics we have.
“It is possible to make ourselves more attractive than the beautiful.”
We can, however, improve our attractiveness. Beauty and attractiveness are two different things. Webster’s definition of beauty is “A pleasing physical quality,” while attractiveness is “The quality that arouses interest and pleasure.” While there is virtually nothing we can do about beauty (without putting a dent on our finances), it is possible to make ourselves more attractive than the beautiful.
How can we boost our attractiveness? Here are some suggestions on how to take our attractiveness to the apex.
Smile is number one in this list for a reason. Its importance can not be neglected. There is even a separate article in this site devoted mainly about smiling. Smiling is the cardinal rule for being likable. It is the one of the first things a person notice when meeting someone new.
In an experiment by Golle, Mast, and Lobmeier, they found out that the intensity of the smile of a person strongly influences attractiveness. A happy facial expression can even compensate for a relative unattractiveness.
“When you give a person a slow smile, you make them think that you smiled because you are happy to see them.”
When smiling, however, do not glue a smile on your face every time. While it makes you approachable, people will think you are just naturally that way and there is nothing special about your smile. A slow smile works better. When you give a person a slow smile, you make them think that you smiled because you are happy to see them. The person is the reason you smiled. It increases your attractiveness and trustworthiness factor.
2. Display positive body language
Displaying positive body language makes you more open to people. Proper body gestures, like discussed in this article, exhibits positivity and confidence. Exposing the torso, that is, avoiding crossed arms or holding something in front of your body, like a handbag, tells people that you are open to conversations and welcoming. When having a conversation with someone, make eye contact and expose your palms. Lean towards the speaker to signal that you are intently listening.
Communication is 55% body language, 38% tone of voice, and only 7% actual spoken words. You can easily lie with words, but hardly with body language. Memorizing every body language signal to display is not necessary. You just have to condition your mind to like the other person so you could display positive body language subconsciously.
“If you can make the other person feel genuinely important, you raise your attractiveness to the person.”
People may forget what you said, but not how you made them feel. Make the other person feel genuinely important by adding the proper body language with words and how you say it. If you can make the other person feel genuinely important, you raise your attractiveness to the person.
3. Wear clothes that make you feel and look good
Not necessarily expensive clothes, but appropriate clothes that fit you. Avoid clothing that is out of fashion, as well as old and damaged. Clothing that makes you look good makes you feel good and boosts your confidence, and confidence is one characteristic that makes a person attractive.
“Clothing that makes you look good makes you feel good and boosts your confidence.”
In a study made by Sharron J. Lennon, Indiana University Bloomington, where clothing and other appearance variables were manipulated but not the actual physical beauty, the result suggests that people dressed in attractive clothing were perceived more positively than with unattractive clothing.
However, do not overdo your fashion sense. Be aware of your environment and culture. While wearing a bikini or tight trunks on some countries are normal and fashionable, it may be offensive in Middle Eastern countries.
4. Wear perfume
The relationship between scent and attraction is ingrained in us, even in our primeval ancestors. The importance of scent probably plays an important role in the continuing life cycle of species, including humans, as suggested in this article.
Although our bodies release pheromones to attract the other sex, it is too weak to be detected, unless in close proximity to each other which is awkward if you are strangers. This is where wearing perfume helps, as tackled in this study.
The perfume does not have to be as expensive as a Chanel Grand Extrait, but you should ask someone from the other sex about which perfume they find more attractive. Remember to apply perfume on strategic places of your body, such as behind the ears, the neck, and wrists, to maximize the chances that other people catching the scent.
5. Encourage other people to talk
Ask questions. Let people talk. Learn more about the person. While they are talking, listen intently. Again, make the other person feel important. Do not interrupt the other person when they speak. Minimize your own talking. You do not have to tell the other person your every thought.
“Being a good conversationalist makes them want to talk to you even more because you made them feel special and made the experience pleasurable.”
If you do this, you become a good conversationalist. It makes them want to talk to you even more because you made them feel special and made the experience pleasurable. You attract them to have more conversations with you.
6. Be intelligent, but do not flaunt it
Read books. Be aware of current news. Study a new language. And, more importantly, know something about what the other sex is into. If you are a man and you know something about, say, knitting, you instantly impress a woman who is into it. And if you are a woman who knows something about football, and it turns out that you are talking to a man who is a football fan, you instantly have him in the palm of your hands.
As they say, “Smart is the new sexy.”
“Some are intimidated if they find out that someone is more intelligent than them. Hide your intelligence until the right time comes.”
But be careful not to flaunt it. People say intelligence is attractive. However, some are intimidated if they find out that someone is more intelligent than them. Hide your intelligence until the right time comes. When you wait for the right time to show your intelligence, you impress your conversation partner, rather than appearing like a braggadocio.
7. Believe that your are attractive
As they say, “Fake it until you make it.” If you continuously believe that you are attractive you subconsciously display the features of attractiveness until it becomes natural to you. Give yourself a high self-worth, but not arrogance.
“If you continuously believe that you are attractive you subconsciously display the features of attractiveness until it becomes natural to you.”
If you do not act confident, people might misinterpret your actions. Say, if you are shy but you really want to talk to a particular person, the other person might misinterpret your shyness as snobbery or lack of interest.
To know more about overcoming shyness, read this article.
The list above is a guide on how to be instantly more attractive. But in addition, be aware of how you take care of yourself, i.e., your diet, exercise, and hygiene. This is not included in the list above because this will not make you instantly more attractive, but it takes a more consistent effort. The human instinct is to find someone healthy to partner with. In addition, it will keep you healthier, happier, and more confident if you keep your diet, exercise, and hygiene in check.
Have something to add? Did I miss something? Do you have any suggestions? Comment it below.
Image by keynet2011, Flickr, CC.